I had been searching for the the minotaur text regarded as "here's how we do it, ladies", but I bumped into this first. I don't know if your slash communities are rigourous as SPN D/C, but he skewered a lot of what I read. It comes off as very know it all if you miss the vibe that "you can do those things, but not every time not even a couple does it the same every time." He points out some things are impractical and pointless—-the 1-2-3 lubing prep isn't needed, and certainly doesn't have to be the same way every time. He points out that's not a blood-filled vein on the base on of penis, and your average prostate orgasm doesn't pool in the belly, as well as other points.
If you want to spice up or make your porn more realistic (there's no real reason you have to). It's worth a read.